American Muslims, marriage and race
There’s a discussion going on at Tariq Nelson’s house about interracial marriage among American muslims. It’s a very interesting read and a great demonstration of the value of websites like this, where people can have a level conversation in public about such a topic that would otherwise be hushed or behind closed doors. The original argument was about black muslims marrying non-black muslims with an intention to have children who can pass out of blackness more easily. That’s a hot topic and you should really hop over there – the discussion will surprise you.
There’s another question lingering at the edges that Umm Yasmin voices: what about white muslims who choose to marry non-whites? What attitudes or intentions do they have about the future race or color of their children?
First of all, I know plenty of white muslims who married other white muslims, so obviously this doesn’t apply to everybody. And I don’t think everyone marries with an eye to race. But what of those who do exercise a preferential option for non-white spouses? Well, I think there are two main reasons, conscious or unconscious. One is to make sure their children are stuck with Islam. Although converts who choose to legally change their name and don islamic attire have effectively dissociated themselves from the surrounding culture, the next generation could easily re-assimilate if they lack religious inclination. I’ve seen this happen to friends’ children. There are enough children of hippies running around with odd names to provide plausible deniability for an islamic first name. Look at Sufjan Stevens. If the children are non-white, it’s much harder for them to just blend back in, and the hope is if the children already feel different from their peers based on color while growing up, they may be more willing to hold on to or identify with a different religion too. Obviously, that logic is not airtight: most of my children could pass for white, as could plenty of white/arab products. But I think that’s a motivation.
The second is the idea of Islam transcending race in America and having a new muslim-american identity emerge that is not tied to race. I think black and white converts alike are drawn by the racial equality inherent in the deen. The difference is most black converts eventually bump up against the ingrained racism and skin preference (those are two separate things btw) in the immigrant communities, while for white converts the idea that all muslims in the US will all blend to brown at some point in the future still seems like a real possibility. Black and white converts may differ too not just in how they are treated, but in how they relate to their own race. For many whites, becoming muslim is simultaneous with a decision to drop out of whiteness. For some blacks, Islam can reaffirm racial consciousness. Just look at the comment over at Tariq’s:
As a black woman we should be creating a strong black household where our children can be proud of their ancestors and not going off to marry in morroco or pakistan. If we keep on the black race will die in Europe.
Needless to say, there is no parallel to that idea among white muslims that I know of. Undoubtedly that is because whites are the “default” Americans whereas blacks are a distinct subset. I guess that’s an irresolvable difference between the black and white experience. Anyway, my original point is just this: white converts actively seeking to marry non-whites may be doing so because they are agnostic about or are actively seeking to do away with whiteness.
I don’t suppose that’s an exhaustive list (comments in Umar’s related post cover the baser motives), but that’s my crack at it. One of these days I’ll have to really roll up my sleeves and write about race in Malaysia.









Wow, you actually know ‘plenty’ of white Muslims married to other white Muslims? Besides my dh and his ex, I only know of one other.
Oh sure. Mostly tariqah people of course, where white muslims are more plentiful. Which brings up a point too, that the biggest reason most white muslims marry non-white is not for some tactical reason or preference but simply because the eligible white muslim dating pool (excuse the term) is vanishingly small in many communities.
Which tariqat r u in?
I won’t deny that at least a little bit of why I chose my wife had something to do with a physical attraction based on my general preference for girls who are…uh, not white. But that’s just a small part of a really big picture involving a lot more than mere physical attraction and preference or whatever. And I don’t think my preference would have anything to do with wanting to inject some colour into the family tree. I guess in the end it all boiled down to who I felt right with.
As for children, it appears the Malay side of the family really want our son to look like a mat salleh, but for me it doesn’t really matter. He could be as white as snow or as black as the ace of spades, either way is fine with me. Although…I do hope he tans a little easier than his daddy.
In both cases, for me religion and questions about preference for one shade of skin over another simply don’t go together because, like you said, Islam transcends race. It should do so everywhere, not just America eh?
For sure. And I know what you’re getting at. Islam = What Malays Do = Islam is an attitude that is not uncommon, to the detriment of us all.
I’m from the South. Full of black folks. My niece and nephew live in Whitebread, Minnesota. They honestly do not see many African Americans. So once when they were flying to AL for a visit, they had to pass through the Nashville, TN airport. They were taken aback by all of the ‘darker’ people they saw, and my niece said, “Why don’t we see any black people where we live?” So my nephew tried to comfort his sister and said, “Don’t worry, we’re about to go to Aunt [southern Muslimah's] house, where you can see your cousins for a whole week!”
My kids are 1/2 super white and 1/2 Palestinian. Har har har.
Where it comes to the question of white reverts marrying non-whites, in my case it was purely supply and demand. Not one revert brother was in the available pool at the time I was searching, all the brothers were Arab. I would have considered an American revert, but there were none available. Alhamdulillah my kids are all more ‘tan’ than myself, but here in Jordan they are considered WHITE. And believe me I am scared for the time they come of marriage age—WHITE/baida is highly sought after here.
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Ephemera
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Author and Professor Dr Jamillah Karim spent a year living in Kuala Lumpur. Read this great interview by Sister Brooke, and then visit Dr Jamillah's blog for a series of thoughtful reflections on what living in Malaysia was like for her as an African American Muslim, what insights she gained about the immigrant Muslim experience in America and more.
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