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6 May 2005 11 Comments

White Boy

…of Ethnicities, Nationalities and/or Socially Constructed Identities That I’ve Been Mistaken For:

Put on a kufi and grow a beard and it becomes harder and harder to take advantage of institutionalized white privilege…

Middle Eastern [I'm sure all the converts have gotten that one before.]
Turkish
Arab: unspecified
Arab: Syrian [On the flip side, a Syrian I ran into at a gas station looked at me and said, "you're Ukranian, aren't you?" My mother's side of the family is in fact from Ukraine. He explained that he had met a number of soviet engineers who were in Syria offering technical assistance, the baathist government being soviet-aligned in those days, and I looked just like them. Whaddayaknow.]
Arab: Lebanese [When I lived in Dearborn, home to tens of thousands of lebanese, I had to memorize the Arabic for, "I'm sorry, I don't speak Arabic", to which a lady once cocked her head at me and said, "Eh? Why not?"]
Iranian
Afghani
Pakistani [When Malays guess this, I can understand. I was more surprised when I went into a store last week and asked the Pakistani uncle "Adakah jual songkok disitok?" (do you sell malay hats here? ...in Malay) He cocked his head to the side as if to wonder why I would speak Malay to him and answered gently, "Nai, bitte." (No, my child. ...in Urdu)]
Bosnian
Chechen [The boiled sheepskin hat I was wearing at the time contributed enormously, I'm sure.]
Malaysian [Back when I was barely aware of where Malaysia was, and had not yet sprouted facial hair. In fact it was about 12 hours after I had taken shahada.]
Black [No, I'm not kidding. It wasn't a first-off impression though. I was working this temp job and had been there several weeks when a few of the black guys I worked with started telling this white girl that I was black. I don't know what they could possibly have presented as evidence besides the fact that Islam is the Black Man's Religion ™ - I wasn't in the room. I come walking in and she says to me, totally taken in, "[Bingregory], are you black?” I wish I had been quick-witted enough to string her along for a while, but instead I just burst out laughing.]

Now that I’m in Malaysia, the response I’ve gotten most often when I clarify that I’m actually an American is, “Aren’t you kind of short for an American?” To which I reply, “I’m an Asian export model.” Ta-dum-dum *Cymbal crash*

Ok, well, I’m not in any danger of being mistaken for funny after this… I wrote this a while back and shelved it for being too silly, but after the topic of mistaken identities came up over in UmmZaid’s comment section, I thought why not.

11 Comments »

Nizar said:

I’m an Asian export model… hehe funny.

Wanna know about the Turks, Persians, or some arabs.. Lebanese? ask me… i’m an expert… oh and Yemeni too…

# 15 June 2005 at 7:50 pm

Apples said:

lol! Wonderful write-up about yourself:)

Just dropping by:)

# 2 April 2006 at 5:39 pm

Shahruddin said:

Assalamualaikum
I was searching for “ingat lima perkara sebelum lima perkara…” on the web that would link me to some authentic hadiths or something. Somehow I got your link and ended-up spending the pass 2 and a half hrs reading your blog. The way you write about banana, rambutan, buah salak, bunga kantan etc etc, keeps me going from page to page. Arent you observant? Keep on writing. Salam & best regards

# 20 June 2006 at 1:00 am

Administrator (author) said:

waalaykum salam Shahruddin – Thanks a lot for your comment!

# 20 June 2006 at 10:52 am

Omar said:

You think that’s weird? How about ‘German’, ‘Russian’ and, most deliciously ironic of them all, ‘Jewish’. Yes. A wahhabi who looks like a Jew. I’m not kidding.

# 4 July 2007 at 6:04 pm

Taromeet said:

Very funny post. Don’t shelve the “silly” from now on. It all comes from the source.

When I lived in Damascus, everybody’s first assumption was Turkish or Russian/Eastern European. Who says blondes have more fun? Since I was speaking Arabic, I liked to make people guess. Several cab drivers told me “You can’t be American! You speak Arabic!”

# 11 September 2007 at 10:43 pm

Bin Gregory (author) said:

Thanks for your comment and the link. What does your name mean? Is that Turkish?

# 12 September 2007 at 12:53 pm

pete novak said:

Amazing. Back on the google earth page you posted I could see OUR houses! How on earth have you been, my friend?

# 14 September 2007 at 12:18 am

Bin Gregory (author) said:

PETE!!!! I am doing great! What about you?! Where are you now? You know what, let’s take this to email. Hang on.

# 16 September 2007 at 7:47 pm

syazwina saw said:

Well, Omar, I mistook one of my friends for being a non-Muslim, even though he was hosting an event for Islamic Awareness Week on campus. Cropped beard and longish hair, the problem was that he started off with an English translation of the salam.

My verdict?

‘A very knowledgeable Jew’.

I will never live that down.

# 7 July 2008 at 5:01 am

kukuman said:

you look like…

wink…wink…wink…

Ashkenazi…..
An Askenazi Jews of Khazaria…