Dreams of Home
21 May 2009
15 Comments
Southfield and the Jeffries
This is the Southfield-Jeffries Interchange, a monumental no-place that towers over the landscape, quite easily the tallest structure on the West Side. It has appeared in bad dreams more times than I can count. Details change, but most often, the interchange is completely filled with broken or unmoving cars and I find myself walking miserably up or down those tall arching, curving ramps. A meaningless series of dreams no doubt, and yet out of all the places and spaces I’ve inhabited around Detroit, it is that object that crops up most often in my imagination.
Related posts:
- Returning home vicariously hat street was amazing. I remember people bringing camels and...
- Dolphin Street Dolphin Street: A photographic tour of the 13500 block of...
- A Home in Kuching I resigned from my job yesterday. What a great feeling....
- Ghetto Palm’s New Home I finally migrated my other site, Ghetto Palm, over to...
- Wireless Dial-up I have finally, finally established an internet connection from home....
Salaams.
If it helps at all, Michigan is currently a mass of depression anyway due to the economy. It has made noticeable difference to how everything looks, and the sadness of the people is quickly giving way to hopelessness. Make du’a for us, inshaAllah, and perhaps when you do make it back it will be to something worth seeing.
Ya, I thought Indy had it bad, SubhanAllah, EliLilly is hiring more folks from Detroit than Obama is with his “stimulus” package. The D city is hurting for realz!
Is your family from Yuperland?
Salams Aaminah – hope you’re making it through all right.
I’m from Detroit, city of, but my parents moved out to the countryside near Flint to go into farming.
Oh, you used to be right across the pond from me (Lake Michigan), I’m from Milwaukee. Gotta love the Midwest. Don’t worry, Detroit will always be there…. it’s certainly one city that refuses to die. LOL
Asalaamu Alaikum
I live across the border from Michigan in Ontario. I’m married to a Malaysian and we have 10 kids (2 from my previous marriage). I lived in Kelantan in 2000 for 4 months. I couldn’t stand it and came home. How do you stand to live in Malaysia? I think its easier for men. I saw an American guy living there and even though he was dirt poor he was happy as a clam.
wa alaykum salam!
Mashallah, 10. You’ve got me beat sister. Where were you in Kelantan? And what didn’t you like about it? I like it here. The weather might be the hardest part to get used to, but after about 6 months, you sweat less. Really. I showered 5 times a day when I first arrived and sweated all night long. Now I sleep under a blanket. It is harder making a living here, especially for foreign men who have more visa problems, but I’ve found it to be worth it. Maybe the social life is more difficult for a foreign woman to adjust to? So do your children speak bahasa malaysia with their father? Oh and who is this American in Kelantan? There aren’t many of us – do you know if he’s still there?
I was in Kota Bharu. I loved the weather; it was like a postcard day everyday! Palm trees, beaches. Although people could care less about beaches,picnics and swimming. Its all shopping and visiting. I did like that though but nobody did much else. I went to Malaysia for hijra and found it wasn’t very islamic at all. I was there for 4 months and no one brought me to the mosque even once! No one bothered to teach me quran and find a teacher for me or even ask if I needed to learn about Islam. They were only concerned with whether or not I cook speak malay and cook malay food..sigh. I also couldn’t stand the houses indoors; no screens on the windows = lizards,cockroaches,mosquitoes, rats, mice, snakes, bats and bugs inside. I’m not making this up! KB is very rural. I lived with my in-laws the whole time. I hated the litter too and the filthy public washrooms. I hated the way people pushed me when I went shopping. I hated the way people didn’t care about seatbelts and hid their seatbelts or cut them out and then my kids were left unsafe. I hated to see little kids, whole families even on motorcycles with no helmets. I felt stressed out the whole time I was there. Sorry but I could write a book about this. Oh and I couldn’t get a job either because I had no status. My husband finally got a job after 3 months but it paid so low we could have never lived on it. Everything there is so expensive unless you live like a malay (rice no cereal, no milk, no cheese, no diapers for the baby).
Dh never taught the kids malay. Even when we stayed there for 4 months they didn’t seem to pick up anything.
I’m not sure about the American if he’s still there. He was 3 yrs ago I think. His wife is named Norliza. I can’t remember his name anymore. He used to live in Saudi and he teaches arabic. There was a Canadian guy in Terranganu before too named Cik Anwar. He could be gone now though.
Where are you in Malaysia? is it sarawak?
Sorry it didn’t work out for you. There is a lot to adjust to, and it’s true that a western lifestyle is very hard to maintain on a Malaysian salary. Sometimes people write to me asking about moving to Malaysia – after I tell them what I earn in US dollars they don’t write back, lol. It’s funny you mention breakfast cereal because that was something I had to simply eliminate from our diet for years. It’s only within the last year that I’ve felt comfortable enough financially to buy the kids cornflakes. Isn’t that funny? The flip side is that now Detroit is an economic ruin – on the whole I think I’m living better here than I would be back in the D. Seriously. But it’s not easy. I brought my baby sister here for a little foreign exchange and she had to evacuate after 3 months too. Had you visited prior to moving here?
Yeah, I’m in Sarawak, in the capital, Kuching. I’ve been here over 7 years now.
I never visited before that, we were just poor struggling students when we got married. If I had gone beforehand I guess I would have never moved there. Did you ever see how the expats live there? The white guys who went there with a western company and they are living high on the hog? Maids, chauffeurs, pools. Meanwhile everyone thinks you’re rich if you’re white and the kids got that in school too. The other students were shocked to find out we were living with the in-laws and penniless!
Detroit really has fallen apart. You can get a house there for a steal! Big houses that would fit our families for a few thousand! But there are no jobs. Windsor has suffered too but not nearly as bad as across the bridge.What do you do for a living there? Dh got a job there in engineering.
I teach at a local university. So does the wife. Like you, I moved here first and started looking for a job second. Little did I know once you’re in country they won’t offer you all those expat packages, which yeah, are pretty cushy. If you can find a way to make a USD-equivalent salary over here, you’ve definitely got it made. Most of those deals are for mid-career type people though, that’s the other thing. Coming over fresh out of school is tougher. Have you come back to visit since then? Ever think you might try again? As our children multiply (we’re at 7), the thought of picking up and moving back to the states again dims. 10, mashallah… Did you get twins somewhere along the way?
I’ve never visited again..can’t afford it. Dh has gone back 3 times since we came back; twice with one kid at a time and once alone. He brought them because they had to get their IC card. We went there when we had 6 kids and left with 6 kids and the 7th on the way! We can’t afford to go back and what would we go back to? I’ve never had twins. Tickets for all of us would be like $20,000 Canadian. When you went there did you have kids yet? Was your wife a sponsored student too? Would you like to come back to the US? The year after I came back 911 happened and I was kicking myself thinking I should have stayed in Malaysia because I suffered so much because of it living on the border with the US. If both of you are working, who watches the kids? Some people have told my husband to get a job with the oil industry..they apparently pay big bucks and we could live decently on it but he never got any leads from them. I don’t know where I belong. I don’t feel really happy in either place. Here in Canada there are mostly Pakistanis and Arabs and they don’t really accept us. The nearest malays are hours away! What made you leave? Was it a hijra for you too? Or you wife had to go back to pay the loan?
Oh some of your kids are registered in Malaysia? That’s good. All my children were born in Malaysia – it was the only way for them to get Malaysian citizenship. With the first two, we were still living in the US, in school and later working. She would fly back shortly before term, deliver, recuperate and fly back. We moved there when she was heavily pregnant with the third. We had already decided to move back to Malaysia basically before we got married. Yeah, she had a loan to repay, but also it was a strategic move, and a hijrah. I wanted my kids to be bilingual and to have a religious education. I didn’t know for sure if it would be permanent. I still don’t, though it increasingly looks that way, and I’m happy here. In the end I think immigration is really something you do for your kids – most immigrants – from anywhere to anywhere – have an ambivalence about their adopted country and the choice they’ve made somewhere inside. Leaving their family if nothing else. Have you heard the joke about the guy who visits hell? Are you in Windsor proper? I know a family in the Detroit area – Malaysian guy, American girl, 5 kids. I could put you in touch. Still far though, I know.
All of my kids have dual citizenship..it happens automatically when you are a guy..I know..so unfair..let’s blame Mahathir..oh he’s gone but anyway you kwim. Yeah that was the deal with hubby too…that we had to go back to Malaysia. I was ok with it because I went sight unseen and I had all kinds of hopes and dreams which never panned out. I wanted my kids to be able to speak malay too and get a religious education. They wouldn’t enroll my son in islamic/arabic school though because he didn’t know malay. My two daughters went to regular school but they had stupid things like playing the flute. Instead of arabic they had jawi. My hope was to get an Islamic loan since they have an islamic bank there to get a house but with such low wages I could see we would probably never have anything! The guy in Detroit? I think I know who you mean! I talked to them just before we left for Malaysia. His wife told me that she hated Malaysia. I was excited to go that I couldn’t tolerate what she was saying. After I came back I totally understood! I don’t live in Windsor but about an hour from there. If I crossed the border I would land in Algonac not Detroit. I have never crossed the border though since ‘99. I’m too terrified! Oh I lost her contact info. Can you give it to me again?
You like living there but isn’t there things you don’t like? How did you adapt? Did her family accept you? My in-laws didn’t even want my husband to marry me. It was really awful and my parents flipped out too. No blessings from anyone.
Must be a different lady. The one I know is pretty pro Malaysia – they’re planning to move back once they save up enough. Might never happen of course, but you know. Anyway this is getting pretty personal so I’m going to carry on by email tonight inshallah if you don’t mind.
Asalaamu Alaikum
Ok so I finally read the joke..so true. Before I came to Malaysia I talked to a lot of people who had visited Malaysia as tourists and they had such glowing reports. No wonder they travel there as if they are still back home..5 star hotels etc. Also never ask a native either…they only have glowing reports too. So this is how I was hoodwinked!
Leave your response!
An article about Three Roods Farm by Garrison Benson.
Interesting critique of consumerism, counter-culture and the culture-jamming movement:
[Via]
Vaguely related in ways I can't fully articulate to themes in Yursil's ongoing series on Suburban Capitalist Islam.
Recent Photos on Flickr
Recent Comments
Notable Blogs and Sites
 Subscribe
Recent Posts
Pages
Categories
Meta
From the Feed Reader
Frequent Topics
Most Commented
Books Wanted